Parliamentary Privilege & The Fairer Sex

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I am told by sources in London, that Boots the Chemists are considering opening a branch of their opticians, in the foyer of the House of Commons. Recently observed, by these renowned ocular guru’s, that the general condition of MP’s eyesight has recently deteriorated, they have decided to take action. Caused, no doubt, by reading numerous white papers, green papers, and even newspapers, MP’s eyesight has recently deteriorated to such an extent, that certain individuals – of both sexes, I might add – have started to find one another attractive.

Causing British MP’s to indulge; in what is referred to by the gutter press as ‘groping,’ MP’s now have further reams of legislation to consider – on top of existing parliamentary bills, and the heavy burden of Brexit – in order to eradicate the blight of sex in the  political workplace. Historically referred to in the past, as “Hollywood for Ugly People,” politics was never popular with the venally preoccupied, but with the onset of rampant sexual astigmatism, visiting a Boots oculist must also be a good bet.

 

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I like women. I like them as women, and I like working with them as coworkers, and I believe they have a very stabilizing effect on the workplace. Away from the macho, the misogynistic and exclusive world of men, more work is done, and peace is maintained. Ambition is present, but it is not over aggressive, and as long as the management treats women with respect, it all seems to work. That was my experience in Bulgaria – as Chairman and MD of Anglo Balkan Communications – a company involved with the site acquisition of base stations. Within the mobile phone industry, and with a success rate second to none, my score was in excess of 2,500 sites delivered, by the time AIG collapsed in 2008, so I must have got something right.

My partners at the time were locals, were typically Balkan and highly misogynistic, but – it seemed to me – clearly emotionally immature. All chutzpah and in your face, they were against employing women from the start. But that quickly changed, and an office full of badly behaved braggarts, was systematically toned down, to accommodate a number of competent lady Civil Engineers. Out of twenty five employees, one third of all staff were female, although none were in a managerial position, but it did the trick and succeeded. But, why am I telling you all this?

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It is mainly because I think the whole subject has been overblown, and because in some cases it has been introduced into politics in order to screen events, to take our eye off the ball, and to allow certain extremists to take the stage in order to cry wolf. Subscribing to arcane Nepolionic Laws, certain people have now been denounced, named and shamed, and are to be regarded as guilty, unless otherwise proven innocent. Often, retrospective proof of their innocence has been largely ignored in the past, and their reputation in tatters, many have been removed from centre stage – or were deceased – all opportunities to redeem themselves lost forever.

This may make some women pleased, and in some cases I might agree, but it hardly supports the British rule of law, nor the edict that anyone brought before a court is presumed innocent until proven guilty, but it doesn’t stop there. By naming a suspect in advance – Cliff Richard, for example – his friends automatically become guilty by association, and because he was famous, it encouraged a lot of speculative accusations from third parties too. All proven to be wrong, how will people see this evergreen musical star in the future? Good question.

Harvey Weinstien – to get away from politics – must have been not only a prolific sexual offender, but given the number of women who alleged rape or assault, he must have been one hell of an athlete as well, and not the little fat man we see in the news. He is horrible, and I am sure that much of it is true, but is it all true? With a lifetime of regret before him, how many of his accusers have simply jumped onto the bandwagon, whilst somehow escaping his casting couch? Perhaps not being on his list of victims, might mean that a Hollywood star was not famous enough, or desirable, all of which would add a perverse twist.

People said of Harold Wilson, that he had been on the fence for so long, he was perforated like a postage stamp, down the middle. I feel like that with the whole subject, and I have no idea how I would react, if I was the big boss. But, I know that I would insist on anonymity for both parties, and I would have strong words with the judge about respect for women, whoever they may be!

The Editor